Having counseled thousands of married people, I am well aware of the many traps in today’s “me-first” culture. So when Julia recently asked me which traps I’d place at the top of a list of “Marital Landmines,” one shot into my mind ahead of all others: unrealistic expectations.
From lanes on a freeway to stripes on a soccer field, even children readily grasp the concept of physical boundaries. In everyday living, boundaries keep us safe ... mark the path ... eliminate confusion. But try applying boundaries to relationships and suddenly the obvious can seem obscure. Where do your rights end and mine begin? What if your pleasure causes me pain?
Have you ever said to yourself, I’m not going to eat that chocolate . . . and then all you can think about is . . . chocolate? In the battle with temptation—and who doesn’t fight it—we’ll shoot the arrow through our own foot every time if our thoughts are aimed downward.
Have you ever said to yourself, I’m not going to eat that chocolate . . . and then all you can think about is . . . chocolate? In the battle with temptation—and who doesn’t fight it—we’ll shoot the arrow through our own foot every time if our thoughts are aimed downward.
Imagine your first job out of college. The good news is that you’re hired! The difficult news is that you’ll be directing the junior high division of 600 in a mega-church, dealing with the quandaries and questions from teens . . . and their parents. (Oh, and you don’t have any formal training.) The predicament is easy for me to imagine because, at age 22, that job was . . . mine!
Like me, perhaps your life has been shaken by news that someone you love has cancer. Of course, this kind of diagnosis is alarming, especially if that “someone” is you—or, in my case, me. Having personally experienced cancer and also having had several people dear to my heart that have been down this precarious road, I know this for certain: A cancer diagnosis never loses its appalling punch.
Just yesterday, I read the amazing story of “Aisha,”(Her name has been changed to protect privacy0 an Albanian teenager who was sent to a state-run orphanage at the tender age of three . . . after her parents’ tragic death in a car accident. Starving from being without food for days at a time, she lived in a cold, dark room with no electricity. For years, Aisha dreamed that someday someone would adopt her so she could have a family again. Sadly, that “someday” never came.
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