Abbey Steffey
Posts by Abbey
Grieving with Hope
Article Summary “Grieving with Hope” shares a personal story of lifelong grief after the loss of a baby brother and how God transformed deep sorrow into a ministry of comfort. What began as anger, confusion, and spiritual distance slowly shifted into dependence on God and compassion for others. Through decades of mourning, the author’s parents moved from isolation to leading grief groups, encouraging others with the same comfort they received. Grief may feel like an island, but Jesus meets us in our pain, weeps with us, and promises hope beyond the heartbreak. Even in long-lasting loss, God can turn mourning into joy and use our story to help others heal. Grief was the elephant in the room most of my life. I knew it was there, lurking around every corner, but it was seldom addressed except for two dates – my brother’s birthday and the anniversary of his death. My older brother Casey had Transposition of the Great Arteries, or d-TGA, from birth. He had complications from open heart surgery at just six months old. This profound, excruciating loss changed my parents forever. It turned my extended family away from God. I grew up wondering what my life would be like if it hadn’t been marked by such immense, intrusive grief. “How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?” (Psalm 13:2 NLT) The Impact of Grief Throughout the formative years of my life, I was a spiritual orphan – unsure if I should hate God or be grateful to Him for my miraculous life. I resented, primarily on behalf of my parents, hearing platitudes that Christians used when children, or babies in particular, passed away. “God needed another angel!” “He is in a better place!” “At least you have another child!” I watched my parents navigate life and loss … not as a participant in their grief but as a distant observer. I watched them go to the cemetery and release baby blue balloons on Casey’s birthdays – they never missed one. I watched them retreat into themselves as the week of his passing approached every year. Even though it had been 10, 15, 20 years … the grief was still deep, tangible, and profound. “For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing.” (Psalm 31:10 KJV) The Hope in Our Grief Despite the gravity of this loss, it wasn’t always sad. Anger at God turned into dependence on Him. Isolation turned into helping others through their grief. Slowly but surely, this mourning turned into hope. I have experienced this truth of God’s Word, “You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy” (Psalm 30:11 NLT). Perhaps the most powerful testimony I have witnessed is my parents going from being distant, confused, and stuck in their grief … to giving hope to others who are grieving. They have led grief and loss groups at their church, counseled friends and co-workers, and taken on leadership roles to help the hurting. What a God we have – and what a testimony my parents get to share. Grief can make you feel like you’re on an island, but it doesn’t have to be that way. The grief experiences of others can make you feel less alone, heard, and seen. Leaning on God and His people can transform a dark-night-of-the-soul kind of experience into a beautiful display of God’s love and grace. I want to encourage you, if you’re grieving today … bring your tears to Jesus. He weeps with you. He cares for you. He knows the depth of your pain. And He will love you in and through your grief. The Bible says, “I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul” (Psalm 31:7 NLT). If you need encouragement and reminders from God’s Word, I encourage you to check out our free download on grief and listen to our Hope Talks podcast – see the links below. If I have learned anything from working at Hope for the Heart for the last five years, it’s that there is hope. There is hope, even in our grief. There is hope, even when it feels distant and elusive. There is always hope. “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” (Proverbs 23:18)
Rain, Car Seats, and God’s Love for Us
Article Summary “Rain, Car Seats, and God’s Love for Us” uses a simple moment of buckling a baby into a car seat during a rainstorm as a picture of how God lovingly shields His children. Just as a mother stands in the storm so her child stays safe, God stands between us and unseen harm, absorbing what could overwhelm us. Scripture reminds us that He is our shield, protection, and refuge, and the gospel shows this love most clearly in Jesus, who took the full weight of sin to bring us safely home to God. When we sacrificially love others, even at personal cost, we reflect His heart and point people back to the One who fully entered the storm for us. By Abbey Steffey The other day, I took my 8-month-old son to the grocery store – a feat in and of itself. Getting out of the house with a little one is never simple. By the time we finished shopping and I wheeled the cart to the car, I felt a small sense of accomplishment. But then, just as I began loading up the bags … it started to rain. If you’ve ever wrestled with car seat buckles in the middle of a downpour, you know it’s not fun. My son had no idea what was happening, no idea that I was being soaked to the bone. He just wanted to get out of the confines of the car seat and back to comfort. He looked at me confused. As the rain pelted down on me, I had this sudden thought: This is what God does for us. God Stands in the Storm for Us While we do experience very real and difficult trials in this life (John 16:33) … it is also true that God often shields us from storms we do not even know are coming. Consider a few passages from God’s Word … “But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high” (Psalm 3:3). “The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety” (Psalm 18:2 NLT). “As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore” (Psalm 125:2). He shields. He protects. He surrounds us. He stands between us and the harm that could overwhelm us. He loves us enough to get wet. To take the brunt of the storm so that we can be safe and secure. What a gift. What sacrifice. What deep, profound love. Think about that for a second. Our God does not keep a safe distance, shouting directions from the sidelines, from the shore, from safety. He steps in. He stands over us. He shields us with His very presence. A Glimpse of the Gospel And as I buckled my son into his seat, looking at him through rain-speckled glasses, I realized that even this small moment of mothering was a glimpse of the gospel – of what Jesus did for us. Loving someone unconditionally, especially when it costs you something, is hard and holy work. But it reflects the heart of Christ, who went to the cross for us, willingly taking on the storm of sin and death so that we might live. The Bible says, “Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God” (1 Peter 3:18). He did not wait for us to understand or appreciate His sacrifice. He loved us first. He absorbed the weight of our sin before we even knew how desperately we needed saving. The Lord has saved and shielded us from storms we may never know about in this life. And for those trials in life we do have to face … He walks through them with us. So you are never alone. When Love Costs Something So the next time you find yourself standing in the rain for someone else, giving up comfort, or loving without recognition, remember: this is the kind of love God calls us to. It is a love that gives, that shields, that sacrifices… and in doing so, it points others to the One who has done it perfectly. “The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.” (Psalm 28:7 NLT)