…and through that moment of hopelessness I said, ‘Lord, I surrender.’

About 15 years ago at another international ministry where I was  working, we had just gone through a spiritual training time, and I recommitted my time to the Lord. It wasn’t long after that the trials began.

I was in charge of the computer systems and all of the IT for this ministry. We began having the strangest problems. Files were disappearing, and peoples’ work wasn’t being saved. After many long nights and several weeks of this, I was just exhausted.  One morning the alarm went off and I laid there and said, “Lord, I know I committed to getting up and spending time with you, but you know what I have been going through.” I got up to go to work, but then stopped and thought,  No, I made this commitment to You. I then had my quiet time and prayer time with the Lord.

But driving to work, I became very angry, and I had it out with the Almighty. Then I came to my senses and asked God to forgive me. During that moment of hopelessness, when I said, “Okay Lord, I surrender,” I saw the answer. God had changed the setting on that computer screen that I had been staring at for weeks. And then the peace of Philippians chapters 4, 6 and 7 came over me. I raced to work, ran in the door, said to everyone, “God showed me what’s wrong. Get everyone off of their computers. We’ll be fixed in 15 minutes.” Sometimes God takes us to the point of just giving up in order to get our attention, and I wonder if I had not honored my commitment to the Lord, would 120 people continue to suffer? Would a ministry that God was using mightily around the world be hampered because of my lack of obedience?

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