The Road to Deeper Relationships
Intimacy is not for those who are fearful or faint of heart … not for those who prefer being partly known rather than fully known … not for those who fear that full disclosure is the surest road to rejection. Yet the problem of not being transparent is not being able to feel fully loved for who we really are … only superficially loved for who we present ourselves to be.
Consequently, experiencing God’s love is foundational. His heart is to help us peel away pretenses and feel full acceptance by entering into an intimate relationship with Him.
Be assured, God loves the real you … and He can bring others into your life who will also love the true you. Ultimately, you need to rest in the Lord’s inseparable love for you, just as the apostle Paul learned to do. …
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
(Romans 8:38–39)
Fiction vs. Facts of Intimacy
Fiction: “Intimacy is sexual involvement with another person.”
Fact: Intimacy may include sexual involvement, but is not limited to it and is not defined by it.
Fiction: “Intimacy is always expressed physically.”
Fact: Intimacy can be expressed emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.
Fiction: “Marriage naturally produces intimacy.”
Fact: God designed marriage to be a relationship of intimacy, but in many marriages intimacy never develops.
Fiction: “Intimacy is found only in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex.”
Fact: Intimacy can develop between family members, friends, those who work together, and those who live together or experience a crisis together.
Fiction: “Intimacy is a feeling of closeness.”
Fact: Intimacy is a choice, a commitment to draw close to another, which may or may not produce feelings of closeness.
Fiction: “Once you have developed intimacy you will always have it.”
Fact: Intimacy has to be nurtured to be maintained. It is a vibrant, ongoing process of growth.
“What is false intimacy?”
False intimacy prevents true intimacy from occurring between two people because it is based on a person’s individual fantasy, not on reality. It merely provides an illusion of safety. It is self-centered rather than other-centered. It is created to protect a person from the pain true intimacy can produce.
False intimacy creates barriers by its emphasis on individuality rather than encouraging the union of two different hearts, minds, and souls.
True intimacy occurs when two people hold nothing back from one another. It is based on love and commitment and results in both people being brought close to God.
Grace filled words:
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:12)
Additional Scripture: Deuteronomy 31:8; Psalm 139:1-5, 7, 10; 1 Corinthians 1:10
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