Friendship: A Treasured Gift from God

February 2015

As a child, there’s nothing quite as unsettling as walking into a room and catching your mother crying…watching her trying to hide her tears. That’s what I experienced when I was 8 years old. I so wanted to comfort Mom—to be a shoulder for her to cry on—but as one so young, I felt inadequate to help. I cared so much about my mother’s pain but knew I couldn’t meet the need she had in her life…for a friend.

While my father had some good qualities, I was also painfully aware of his infidelity, his gruffness, and the way he treated my mother and others. He gave no thought to the abusive tone he used. And my mother knew if he caught her crying he would accuse her of being mentally ill. Mother refused to share negative information about Dad with others (she was so protective of him and his reputation), which in part is why she didn’t have close friends.

I remember often thinking, Oh how I wish Mom had a friend. If only she had a friend!

About this time a cousin called my mother and said, “They’re starting a new organization in Dallas called Christian Women’s Club. Please, just for me, would you go?” To please my cousin, Mother said she would go…and she did. She slipped into the meeting (intentionally after it had started). And indeed, she liked the program, but what captivated her was the soft-spoken chairwoman.

Mother told me later, “It’s as though that woman had a halo around her head. She spoke with such gentleness and warmth, confidence and compassion. And her eyes were so kind! I would love to have met her.” Sadly, she didn’t, because when the meeting was over, Mother slipped out…unnoticed…without introducing herself.

Two years passed. By that time, my father (for the first time in 40 years) was willing to go to church. One day as Mother was sitting in church she glanced over a few pews and was surprised to see that face—that same warm, kind, angelic face. It was Sarah—the woman she had yearned to meet earlier. As God would have it, their face-to-face meeting began a precious heart-to-heart friendship between Sarah and my mother.

Although I wasn’t a Christian, I had been praying that God would give my mother a friend. Of all the gifts I’ve ever received, the most valuable in my life was that of Sarah for my mother.

It’s been said that insomuch as someone draws you nearer to God, he or she is your friend.

That’s what Sarah did for my mother. Sarah became my mother’s dearest friend and prayer partner. They prayed together about hurts and pains, and Sarah strengthened my mother’s hope in God.

Over the years, my heart was warmed as I watched Mother and Sarah’s friendship blossom and grow. They weren’t just friends when the sun was shining, but also when it was raining.

For a friend is someone who sings with you when you’re on the mountaintop, but who also silently walks with you when you’re going through the valley.

The friendship between my mother and Sarah reminds me of another friendship I see in Scripture—the friendship between Jonathan and David. Their friendship was characterized by at least three important values:

They were vulnerable with each other. “…They kissed each other and wept together” (1 Samuel 20:41). A true friend is unaffected by your pain. Jonathan let himself weep over David’s hurt. He entered into David’s emotional pain. Do you have a friend with whom you can do that?

They refused to be rivals. Both men were rivals to the throne of Israel. The stage was set for competition, comparison and conflict. And yet, in their hearts neither Jonathan nor David attempted to get above the other.

They strengthened each other in God. It’s tempting to want to be another’s all-in-all…to say, “I will meet your every need!” But the strongest act of friendship you can extend to another person is to “help him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16).

Is the need for true friendship the cry of your heart right now? Then I want to challenge you to reach out and invest in the special love of friends…friends with whom you can share your joys and sorrows, your fun times and times of deepest heartache…friends with whom you will be both challenged and strengthened in the Lord.

Ask God to bring His choice of friends into your life—friends who are committed to Him, friends whose deepest dependence is not on you but on the Lord. Then you will experience the treasured gift of having “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

My prayer for you today is that you would grow deeply in your relationship with Christ. And as you share His love with others that He would bless your life with wise true friends who bring peace and joy to your heart.

Yours in the Lord’s hope,

June Hunt

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